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Rajesh Kanal – Head Operations at a Premier MNC in India, was a star-performer in his peer group for the varied stints he had undertaken in India and South-East Asia that got him fast-track promotions, expanded roles and accelerated success by the age of 39.
Rajesh's keen intellect and wit enhanced his already dynamic personality. However, his sharp, harsh and rough choice of words that got him the unwarranted attention of his supervisors, fear & subservience of his subordinates and absolute rejection from his peers, came back to haunt him from time to time.
Read on to find out what his Mentor has to say to him.
“Where do you think your words till take You?”, asked sternly Mr. Sanghh, Regional Director of the company, based in Honkong. Sanghh called Rajesh, immediately after the monthly management review discussion, during which Rajesh lost his cool when certain control issues and lapses were highlighted to be originating from within Rajesh’s team.
“Boss, the nature of this leadership role is such that I need to be aggressive at times. Some control issues carried out from the previous leadership are being pointed at me now. Unfortunately, I am being targeted. How do you suggest I should have spoken?” asked Rajesh,feeling guilty for the loss of control over his anger and words.
“Like an arrow that leaves a bow, a word that is once spoken, can never go back. Speak in a way that you never regret your choice of words, else it is only a matter of time before your words lose power and you invite avoidable situations", pressed Sanghh
“Rajesh, your words can either solve the problem or worsen it. Choose your words wisely, as they have power to guide you towards further Success and give you peace within. Stay aware, use this filter and contemplate over what you say
- Is it Kind?
- Is it True?
- Is it Necessary?
If your words meet this filter, go ahead. But if not, stop”
“Kind, True & Necessary words can douse any and every pressure situation and also soothes one’s own self, as we all have a deep desire to be in resonance with our Conscience” said Sanghh, in a serious tone.
“Yes and the only exception to that is a lunatic, who is disconnected with his/her conscience and seeks self-destruction. Right.?” asked Rajesh with further remorse as he remembered Sangh's advice from a previous conversation.
Sanghh had been Rajesh’s mentor ever since Rajesh joined the company 18 years ago as a Management Associate. They had a strong mental and emotional connection and understood each others language.
“But boss, there are enough people in the company who want to see me fail; the world is not always on my side”, cried Rajesh.
“In tougher times and difficult situations, when you are unsure about what words to use, the best solution is to maintain Silence (Maun in Sanskrit), which are of two types -Silence of spoken words (Outer) & Silence of thoughts created in the mind (Inner)” stated Sanghh.
“Do you mean I should stay quiet when I know there is unspoken negativity, not in my favour?” asked Rajesh, with pessimism.
“If muddy water in a glass has been shaken, you cannot see the water clearly until the mud settles again. Similarly, right now fear and anger has been triggered within you, so allow yourself to calm down; speak only when the mental disturbance has fully settled and then you will be able to think and speak with clarity and assertiveness, not aggression.”
Sanghh explained further that Simply maintaining Outer silence is not enough, Inner silence is just as necessary which means ceasing the mental dialogue and arresting the repetitive after-thought. Outer silence may, at times, save a situation or help to lessen the damage against you, but not maintaining inner silence will harm you, as it means continuing to hold negative thoughts in the mind about a situation/ person and repeatedly chewing over old problems for long periods, sometimes for years together. This can be easily read in your facial expressions and body language.
"The thoughts held within you will become words when you express yourself uncontrollably under pressure, thus, in difficult times, maintaining inner silence is a must and thereby outer silence will be easily achieved as and when needed."
“I get it... Sub-consciously I repeatedly go over the negative grapevine and I tend to overreact when I get the slightest vibe against me... I guess that is the main reason as to why I get triggered so easily... I must get rid of this tendency...” said Rajesh with firmness.
Sanghh, who always spoke profound words, being spiritually established within the field of Buddhism, gave Rajesh further clarity that Outer Silence takes you higher positions, but Inner silence takes you to your True Self, which is Infinite Energy and Bliss. By inculcating inner silence as a personality trait, one’s behaviour and conduct in the world is filled with positive energy, conviction and love, as one has nothing else to offer but highest good.
“It is as simple as Binary Logic”, said Sanghh.
“One word or silence at the right time can keep you connected to your inner self and spread the message of peace in all that you do , irrespective of what you do i.e. whether in work or at home or in personal relationships. Such words elevate you to great heights if life and they make your messages ever-lasting and eternal, beyond time.”
“Whereas another word can cause divide and friction by being infested with fear, anger and hate, leading to hidden dissatisfaction, suppression or depression. Such words leave you in shambles"
“And if the world matters to you, then know that a man and his character are always judged by his words. Rajesh, my dear... that is why it is repeatedly said by the great sages, choose your words wisely.”